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Okay, first - romance. The sooner you realize that oral sex is a two-way street, the better off you'll be. Next - money. Don't get too down on yourself about your recent shaky financial decisions. I mean, who knew the number 4 horse at the race track would stumble and break its leg like that coming around the last turn. And all those losers at GAMBLER'S ANONYMOUS can kiss your ass! They're just jealous and only wish that they had that much money in their kids' college fund to bet with come NFL Sunday. However, expect the worst of it when your spouse starts asking those annoying, nagging questions like, "Where's my Rolex?" and "Hey, what the hell happened to our entertainment center?" Why not head off to the casino for some royal treatment. You deserve it.

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